Wednesday Witticisms

Welcome to my new Wednesday Posting!

 Every Wednesday I will post nine witticisms for you to enjoy. I figure, by Wednesday, we all could use a pick- me-up, and humor is just the ticket. Why nine? There are nine letters in Wednesday! Enjoy!

This week’s witticisms come from a favorite comedian of mine, Steven Wright. His observations and remarks are absolute genius!

1. Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
– Steven Wright (SW)

2. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, “Didn’t you see the stop sign?” I said, “Yeah, but I don’t believe everything I read.”
– Steven Wright (SW)

3. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
– Steven Wright (SW)

4. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it’s going to be up all night.
– Steven Wright (SW)

5. I’ve been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.
— Steven Wright (SW)

6. If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.
— Steven Wright (SW)

7. “What’s another word for Thesaurus?”
— Steven Wright (SW)

8. Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French looking girl. She was a bilingual illiterate — she couldn’t read in two different languages.
— Steven Wright (SW)

9. I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.
–Steven Wright (SW)

Happy Wednesday!

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Ruth says:

    Great. You are right a pick-me-up in the middle of the week is appreciated.

    1. deenaremiel says:

      I know I needed those witty statements today. The research is so much fun, too! 🙂

  2. Auntie A says:

    Hilarious, thanks. I’ve been at #1 for the past year!!!!

    1. deenaremiel says:

      I knew you would appreciate these! Thanks for stopping by! Miss you! 🙂

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