Wednesday Witticisms: Erma Bombeck

I grew up with my mother and all of her friends reading and talking about Erma Bombeck. Her book, If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What am I Doing in the Pits?, never left the bathroom for years. It may very well be that she helped groom my sense of humor. Well, her, my mother, and my aunt, really! Erma may have passed on, but her humor is classic and timeless. Enjoy her thoughts on children…


Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, “A house guest,” you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.
Erma Bombeck

Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: “Checkout Time is 18 years.”
Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced in television.
Erma Bombeck

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
Erma Bombeck

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
Erma Bombeck

Happy Wednesday!


4 Comments Add yours

  1. I too have spent many a day reading Ms. Bombeck and love her wittiness. She left us way too soon. Your inspirational ‘aren’t children priceless’ segments are wonderful. Thanks Deena for a wonderful walk down memory lane.

    1. deenaremiel says:

      Doreen, thanks for taking that walk down the lane with me! And I’m so glad you’re enjoying my writing. I, too, enjoy your messages on PlotMamas all the time. Such tenderness and love exudesfrom your words. 🙂

  2. Oh, man, but isn’t that dancing food one true?! Love these, even if I end up a day late.

    1. deenaremiel says:

      SO true, Amber, so true! *sigh* You’re not a day late, sweetie. You’re 6 days early for the next one. 🙂

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