The holidays can surely bring out the best in people. Long lines in stores. That one last toy, the focus of a brutal tug-of-war. Family coming from near and far for that once yearly gathering. Sugary treats that bring smiles to everyone’s faces. Here are some holiday quotes that are sure to tickle your holiday funnybone. Enjoy!
“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: ‘Toys not included.'” ~ Bernard Manning
“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” ~ Shirley Temple
“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” ~ Joan Rivers
“Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ~ Dennis Miller
Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!
God, I know we are your chosen people, but couldn’t you choose somebody else for a change?
I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.
“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”
“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.”
Hugs and Snugs,